The Best Speeches to Avoid Speeding Tickets

Most days you follow the limit. You know the roads like your phone number – 45 miles plus 5 allowance. You abide by it but today, the slug in front is bugging you and you sped up to overtake. Or you’re catching a store that’s closing down. Or Snoop Dogg’s on the radio and while nostalgia kicks in, you lost track. Or you’re just feeling adventurous, a change for a day. And then you hear that dreaded siren – it’s a cop on a motorcycle!

You pulled over, obeyed to show your license and then the speech. What can you do to avoid a speeding ticket?

Before you practice your act after being pulled over, the trick starts with the car. Make sure it’s well maintained. Clean it and fix all that is a noticeable damage. You wanted to communicate that you’re a law-abiding citizen and you look out for your vehicle.

Observe the road. See if there’s a highway patrol or cops on standby. Obviously, you need to show off when they’re around. Do not speed when you’re alone on the road. Stay in the pack of speeding cars to diffuse the chances – you’re just driving like anybody else. Just make sure you’re not the leader as they’re the first on target. Avoid the fast lane because cops lurk around that side and they know drivers often outlaw the limit there. Staying in the middle is the safest.

When you see a cop on the sideroad and it’s too late to slow down, wave at him. It’s more common for cops to be avoided than to be greeted. Waving will got them thinking and distracted. Is this somebody I know? If they waved back, then drive on.

Now, to the speech.

Kindly deny. Admitting it is sure fire to a fine. Never fight the cop as aggression rarely gets to anything.

Put on a dramatic face. Saying that you have to poop or something hurts is not believable when you look golden. Act with your excuse. This is more effective for women because not many can resist a sobbing lady than a weeping grown man.

Complicate your accent. If you have a foreign look, then use it to your advantage. Make your English crooked, grammar mishap and enunciation pricky. Make it painful to talk to you and he’ll dismiss you.

The Humorous Approach. Matt Hardigree of jalopnik.com can put up an excellent scenario.

Officer: Where are you going in such a hurry?
Me: Just keeping up with traffic, officer
Officer: I don’t see any traffic
Me: That’s how far behind I am, I was trying to keep up! (insert unfunny drum noise) “da dum ching”
Officer: Just slow down. (walks back to car shaking head)

If they don’t laugh just say “What are you, the joke police?”

The best way to avoid the ticket is not speeding up, but this happens. What’s your best approach?

Problem: Too Much Religion and Denominations

Beside politics, religion is the most heated topic for discussion. Representative of a religion can have a strong tendency to defend his own belief, even to the point of criticizing other religions to address the dominance of his adherence. The other person will do the same, but siding his opposing devotion. The battle never ends since this is a clash of faith. You don’t have to prove it; you just have to believe it strongly as if it’s the absolute truth.

We don’t need an argument for religion to affect our interactions. There are prejudice against Muslims, Buddhists, and even atheists. There is in any religion, even to the devout Christians. It separated several couples because of families in disapproval. People are persecuted because of unmatched beliefs.

Does too much religion separate us?

Analysts argue that world religion is shrinking. But the major religions still keep a massive population of believers. Here is the tally of the top 10 organized religions by the world statistics of Adherents.com.

Christianity: 2.1 billion
Islam: 1.5 billion
Nonreligious: 1.1 billion
Hinduism: 900 million
Chinese traditional religion: 394 million
Buddhism: 376 million
primal-indigenous: 300 million
African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million
Sikhism: 23 million
Juche: 19 million

There is also growing number of denominations within the above-listed religions. Buddhsim can be furthered into Theravada and Mahayana. Islam can be furthered into Sunni, Shi’a, Ahmadiyya and Sufism. Christianity can be furthered into Catholicism, Protestantism, Orthodoxy, Anglicanism, Mormonism and hundreds more.

There are thousands of religions and denominations in the world. It doesn’t take an elaborate history to form one; it only needs a founder.

On January 5, 2012, a little more than a year ago, Swedish jurisdiction acknowledges Kopimism as a legitimate religion. Founded by 19-year-old philosophy student Isak Gerson, adherents believe that file sharing is a sacred act. One of their symbols appears to be a Yin-Yang balance with Ctrl-C on top of Ctrl-V. Computer users and lazy pupils recognize these as copy and paste.

Among the fastest growing religions in the 2000s was Jediism. Based on the blockbuster sci-fi movie series Star Wars, adherents practice the spiritual and philosophical implications of the movies. They believe in the “Force” and observe the “Jedi Code”.

Another religion added in the 20^th century was The Creativity Movement. It is an atheistic approach that concentrates on the white people’s seclusion. In the words of the founder Ben Klassen, “united and organized the White Race is ten times more powerful than the rest of the world put together”.

Pastor James Emery White compared the foundation of new religions to starting a business. A million people found their businesses; but 40% dies by year one, 80% by year five. New churches and denominations share the same fate. White enumerates “Lack of Ministry Gifts, Lack of Money, Wandering in No-Man’s-Land, Failure to Contextualize and Small-Church Mentality” as the reasons why most ceased.

However, once a religion firmly proved that they’re renitent, they are added to the list of world religions and denominations. With too much to choose from, certain perspectives can construe to an individual.

Is it possible to have two non-conflicting religions? A Christian can believe in the trinity and still apply the Buddhist meditation. A Shintoist can diligently practice her vocation and also agree that there’s a “Force” within her that has a vast potential.

Can crossovers like this unite the world religions, or will it complicate it even more? If you have an answer to all these questions, what makes it right? It’s based on beliefs again.

Body Image Dichotomy: Thinspo vs Fitspo

In the realm of body image, one of the highest trending search topics are Thinspo (abbreviation for Thin Inspiration) and Fitspo (short-hand for Fitness Inspiration). The idea and popularity behind Thinspo has been increasing particularly among young women the past couple years. Books have been written regarding this relatively new and shocking craze.

Thinspo is essentially the glorification of eating disorders as a form of weight-loss and being “healthy.” The main eating disorder Thinspo enthusiasts support is “Ana” short for Anorexia. In order to encourage starvation or food resistance, Thinspo enthusiasts surround themselves with emaciated photographs of what their ideal body image will be.

Erroneous Body Image

Continuously seeing these images helps to reinforce the resistance to eat, and to continue starvation. Thinspo enthusiasts see this as a healthy goal, and their desire for “perfection” reaches unhealthy extremes. The internet has been flooded with images of “models” with bulging bones, gaunt faces, and dead eyes. Support groups for Thinspo are at an all-time high. Trying to reason with Thinspo enthusiasts seems to be a lost cause because their desire for stick-thin figures is so strong that they are willing to do anything to be “skinny”.

As Thinspo diets (or lack thereof) increase in popularity, women on the opposite spectrum of this craze have retaliated with the newer health craze “Fitspo.” Fitspo is a mixture of clean eating and exercise, basically the epitome of good health. The same process resides within this trend of circulating photos of women with rock hard abs, and women eating healthy foods to reinforce good and positive health habits.

The difference between the two trends is stark and challenges anyone who attempts to achieve skinniness and perfection. They are two extremes of different body types, both attempting to claim the title as “healthy” looking. Whether it be starvation or over-exercising can result in loss of body fat which will ultimately result in Amenorrhea in women, which is the body’s way of shutting down the reproductive system by stopping the production of estrogen until a healthier equilibrium of fat and health is achieved. The results and requirements of both Thinspo and Fitspo are at a pinnacle.

Whether you want to lose a few vanity pounds or an extreme amount of weight, doctors and health experts would agree that Thinspo is not the healthy route, and is dangerous when attempted. Eating sensibly, avoiding processed foods, and getting adequate exercise 3-5 days a week is the healthy alternative for anyone trying to lose weight and be healthier over all. Depriving your body of nourishment is not. Think smart, eat smart, and be healthy.

Modern Virgin Marys

We know what’s special about the blessed Mary. She conceived Jesus while maintaining her virginity. It seemed impossible and thus, miraculous. But women nowadays can do the same – skipping sexual intercourse and still have a baby growing in their belly.

People who had problems conceiving will resort to the In vitro fertilisation (which costs $12,400 per cycle). This process will extract the egg cell from the mother and sperms from the father. Specialists will then fertilize it in the laboratory and inject it to a woman’s uterus. There’s no sex involved.

Women have never worked more than they are working now. They occupy 46.9% of America’s workforce. The balance is expected to shift more towards the ladies since 68% more women earn a bachelor’s degree than men. With their focus on their careers, they have less time for family.

Their problem is their body clock. Fertility declines at early 30’s and the risk of miscarriage is at 20%. More complications arise as they pass the age 35, with increased pregnancy risks and after birth problems such as a 1 in 350 chance of the child having Down syndrome.

They counter their body’s declining facility by extracting healthy egg in their prime age of 20s. They’ll freeze it and store it in a bank for use in the future. Women can do what they want to do without fear of their expiration.

Would you choose profession over family?

Overweight People Have the Advantage

The ideal body can’t have any flabs. We exercise to shed off the fats and we cringe upon seeing the bad but luscious foods. We feel guilt when we munch them.

But why can’t a bulky body be healthy?

A recent study indicates that 20% of obese people, by looking at their medical risks, are healthy. This trumps the notion that all obese people need to lose weight. But majority is still on risk. This means that 4 out of 5 are susceptible to obesity-related diseases like diabetes, heart attack and stroke.

How about those who are overweight? In what ways can fats be their asset?

People whose BMI is 25 – 29 (thus, overweight) have 6% less risk of death than those with normal BMI (a.k.a. the fit ones). In 2004, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Cancer Institute reported 100,000 fewer deaths among overweight people.

According to the researchers, this may be because these people at risk visit the doctors more often and their health is monitored. But the data will agree that overweight people “outlive the obese, the underweight, and people at normal weight”.

Overweight people have their own advantages. They have fuller faces and glowing skin leading to a youthful appearance. They have stronger bones and osteoporosis are less common in them.

Women with rounder shape are in sound condition. Those with bigger thighs have a better metabolism, thus lowering the risk of heart disease. Extra pounds also increase fertility while underweight women have 72% risk of a miscarriage. Fats protect post-menopausal women from cognitive decline.

And of course, their boobs are bigger and unfortunately, it’s also true for men.

Doctors are baffled as to why overweight people are better in fighting an illness. It seems that fat act like reserves to keep the body functioning during hard times for the body. After all, fats are for storage of vitamins A, D, E and K. It covers the cells and helps supply nutrients. This much-hated substance has a critical role in inflammation, blood pressure, and clotting regulation.

As long an active lifestyle and healthy diet are dominant, it seems that the weight won’t matter. It became a social expectation to be model-like.

What is your favorite fatty food?

“I’ll Gladly Pay You Tuesday, For a Hamburger Today”

I recently watched an older episode of “Parks and Recreation.” It’s the episode where Ron Swanson and Chris Traeger have a competition to see who makes the better hamburger. Chris pulls out all the stops with seasoning, toppings, and sides to please the palate, whereas Ron simply cooks a plain ground beef burger and puts it on a bun – and wins. Sometimes less is more. Jimmy Buffet captured his love for the cheeseburger in his famous song “Cheeseburger in Paradise” and Wimpy’s catch phrase from Popeye quickly caught on as “I”ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” So what is it about this food that has us salivating and including it on menus of virtually every American restaurant around?

I think part of the appeal of hamburgers is that they are familiar to everyone. When you go to a restaurant and you look at all the options, it makes choosing more difficult. However, with picking the Hamburger, you already know its a dependable option and will leave you feeling full and satisfied. It’s also the more economical choice when comparing it to say, seafood options or steak. Hamburgers are often paired with a heaping serving of chips or fries that will leave you feeling that you got your money’s worth in food. Hamburgers are also easy to eat. They don’t require you to cut into them, you just simply pick them up and shove them into your mouth.

The hamburger is a timeless meal. Restaurants are always competing to try and remaster the hamburger, adding fancier toppings, changing the meat from ground beef, to sirloin, Angus, and turkey. Even the vegetarians and vegans have their own meat-free options like the garden burgers and boca burgers which tried to emulate the familiar taste that you get when biting into a juicy hamburger. The hamburger and bun also serve as a template for anyone wishing to be innovative with their toppings and sides. You can add pretty much anything to it, and you still know its going to taste good.

Among the biggest reasons why hamburgers are America’s national food are because they are social and nostalgic food. They bring community in the sense that people often serve them at neighborhood barbeques and parties. They remind us of summertime, pool parties, and conversation with friends. They go great with beer, and they’re a crowd pleaser because everyone likes them. It also helps that they’re relatively inexpensive to make and can accommodate a plethora of people. People tend to stick with foods they already know they like; and as Americans, we know we can always count on the hamburger.

What’s your favorite hamburger restaurant?

“What is Beautiful is Good” Stereotype

Everyday life imposes the “what is beautiful is good” stereotype. The appealing character in TV is the good guy, while the unpleasing face is the villain. The gorgeous lady was offered the first-in-line position while the rest will have to endure the wait. The nice looking guy earns respect without any act.

Businesses desire beautiful people to be the face of products and services. Sales people, flight attendants, news anchors are attractive because they interact with the public. Stunning is a common feature of models in advertisements.

Physically attractive people are perceived as “more sociable, happier and more successful than unattractive people”. And the reason why they are more successful is because they are attractive! Attractive applicants are rated as more qualified. And once hired, they are more likely to get promotion and increase in salary.

In court, attractive defendants have better odds. They don’t look like guilty. And if they are, these people get more lenient sentences, lower bails and reduced fines.

Attractive people have perks even in the simplest situations. They are desired, looked up and have a better treatment in numerous everyday circumstances. People associate the “good” characteristics with beauty without experiential evidence with the person.

The painful aspect of beauty is that they are sometimes thought to be unintelligent lucky breed. But then, jealousy is a manageable other side of the stereotype.

Is this a wretched world to live for the attractive ones? Thankfully not. Undoubtedly, there is more challenge to them; but they are more persevering people who deserve every bit of successful footing. Earning their better life based on hardwork is a felicity undeserving lucky people can’t reap.

Do you have the “what is beautiful is good” stereotype?

People on Public Transit

Everyone at some point in their life has had to utilize public transportation. I live in the DC-metro area, and when I worked for the State Dept. I used to take the metro into work everyday. I was one of those people who looked like they were staring out the window watching the passing scenery, but really I was looking at the reflection in the window, watching everyone around me for suspicious behavior and self awareness. I hated taking the metro, and I still do. It forces me outside of my comfort zone. That’s the thing with public transportation, that personal bubble of space that you consider “yours” is invisible on public transit. Too close quarters to have personal space.

A couple years ago I was taking the metro into DC with a friend, when this older bag lady (standing towards the door) started shouting at this young man next to her, to stop touching her. Everyone looked. The man clearly wasn’t touching her, and he was now irritated and uncomfortable at her accusation, but the women persisted in her accusation. She cursed and shouted at the man until he got fed up and got off the metro and the nearest stop. The woman then proceeded to talk to herself, and eyed my friend and I. It was one of the freakiest most hilarious experiences I’ve had on the metro.

I feel like everyone fits into some sort of category when riding public transit. You have the germ-o-phobe, who as soon as she sits down, reaches in her bag and takes out the purell hand sanitizer and lathers it into her hands, making sure not to touch anyone or anything until her stop. Then of course there’s the guy who can’t wait to get home before he starts eating, and stuffs his face while everyone looks on in disgust. There’s the Arabic guy who is a tourist, but everyone is secretly praying to God that he doesn’t have a bomb in his book-bag, and that he doesn’t get off at the same stop as them. There’s the stinky homeless guy that no one wants to sit next to, so he gets a row to himself, quite pleased about it.

There’s the woman who always looks like she’s on the verge of tears, and you dare not make eye contact because being near her is awkward enough. There’s the guy who looks like he’s physically in pain and is probably holding in a massive fart, some days he just lets it go and everyone suffers. The Arabic guy isn’t looking so bad now, huh? There are the two black guys who are wearing hoodies, and listening to rap music on their iPods at a high enough volume half the train can hear, and everyone is avoiding eye contact with on the off chance that stereotypes might become violent. And of course there are always the people who are on their cell phones. Talking loudly so that you and everyone else now are completely up to speed on the day they had at work and what they are planning to have for dinner.

There’s the guy who seems oblivious to the fact that his massive book bag hits you in the shoulder every time he turns to look out the window. And we must not forget the heavy breathers, coughers, and sneezers, who make everyone think that a plague is on the brink of unleashing. And the people that make EVERYONE uncomfortable are the lurkers. The people who stare at you, until you make eye contact, then smile, and as you look away they continue their gaze at you, making you wonder if they’re thinking about wearing your skin. A good target for this psycho would be the narcoleptic, who falls asleep the second they sit down, and nearly misses their stop every single time. And one of my favorites is the guy (or girl) who is listening to R&B on his iPod and is singing aloud, having convinced himself that he’s an amazing singer, whist the rest of the train suffers through yet another Adele cover.

The worst offender of all (in my humble opinion) is the person who cannot ride the metro without talking. Unfortunately, I am too nice of a person to be rude and ignore them, so I’m often stuck making small talk with some random stranger, when all I really want to do is text on my phone (without this person asking who I’m talking to or watching what I text) and get back to looking at people’s reflections in the window. The chatty kathy always finds a victim, and seems all too happy to be riding public transit. If you spy her – run the other way!

Tag Archives: society