Milan and the Perfect Wrong Choice

This photo was taken from the so called Old City of Bergamo, Milan, as we looked down at the New City. Most things to do with getting here had gone wrong. I mean from flight to where we stood, this was a mistake… and I was extremely happy about it.

I was on this trip with my girlfriend. A well-planned weekend away to celebrate our anniversary, of course it was, everything I do is well-planned (hmm). Everything was packed, tickets ready, passports ready, map ready, we were to go to Milan.

Our flight landed on time, so I’ll admit, it didn’t all go wrong. Whilst the sun was still up we got a cab from the airport for a fair price, and ended up at our hotel, which was surprisingly swish considering a budget. Soon after we were unpacked, out the door we are and wandering the streets to take in Milan.

The streets were not bustling, even though it was mid-afternoon, we assumed maybe they had a siesta like Spain. Wondering around, we saw few cafes and embraced the stunning architecture whilst it was quiet. It stayed quiet, and while the buildings were impressive, there seemed to be a severe lack of anything particularly remarkable or anything attracting attention. We assumed we were out of the centre a bit. A quick look at the map confirmed that were far from the Old City from which I took that photo.

Up the steep hill we went to the fortress of the Old City. We decided to grab a coffee before finding the way up. Classic good old coffee shop had Wi-Fi – I needed to know the shortest way to the top of that bridge. Google search Milan. I was struck by a remarkably unfamiliar map on my phone, this was not Milan, this is not where we were.

We had flown into Bergamo, after deciding it was clearly the most prominent airport for Milan. Turns out it’s a 50 minute train ride from the true Milan and we were staying in a city of financial banks nearby. Seems we made the wrong choice.

When we walked up to the Old Town, and looked over this view, however, everything was right and I knew it. It was beautiful, the Old Town was beautiful, the hotel was lush. We visited Milan too and it was a storming trip.

One mistake, one awesome mistake.

Why the Paradox of Choice?

Well choice experts believe that too much choice will mean you are less likely to enjoy the end result. That is due to the hypothetical choices you could’ve made. So you must limit your choices.

Paradoxically, too little choice and you want have the option for the best result in the first place. What side do you lean to? I can tell you too much choice is most common. So bear in mind that limiting choices will make you happier anyway.

We limited the choice to Italy, Milan, and a choice of two airports… picked the wrong one… had a great time and the rest is history…

Don’t worry about making the choice; you have to make it first anyway.

Where Facebook is Actually Good at

Personal information and time are the only currencies Facebook asks in exchange for its service. It won’t care where you’re from or how fat your wallet is. Everyone is a market for a company or a business; thus Facebook could earn from anyone regardless of background.

Since it is free to signup and use the social networking platform, Facebook has been welcoming and non-judgmental. Facebook is good at creating a classless virtual world. With more than a billion users, Facebook has a society where all people are equal.

Art Jipson, University of Dayton sociologist and criminologist, interviewed homeless people. He learned that the homeless are enjoying the benefits of Facebook. One of the interviewee said, “no one on the ‘net cares if I didn’t get a shower yesterday or smell some. They don’t judge me, you know? … I feel accepted. I am accepted.”

Apart from the privacy issues and addiction tendencies, Facebook can connect people especially those who needed it. Another homeless found care from Facebook: “I have as much right to that as anyone else. Just because I am homeless does not mean that I don’t care about this stuff, you know? My family is on Facebook. My friends are on Facebook. People who care about me are on Facebook.”

They only need a phone to log in social networking sites. It’s good to know that those whose homes are drawings in the air are beneficiaries of belongingness social media promises.

What do you use Facebook for?

Hiring the New Best Friend

You will find all the skills employers wanted for hire in the job description. They prefer the graduates with years of experience. They like expertise on specified areas. They give advantages to multi-linguals.

You respond to them with your meticulously crafted cover letter. You edit and update your resume to meet the description of the person they’re looking for. This may be enough to land you a scheduled interview.

But the main deciding factor is whether they see you bonding with them. A study issued in the American Sociological Review revealed that cultural fit is the most crucial criterion employers are watching out in the job interview process. The candidate is evaluated based on his/her harmony with the “leisure pursuits, background, and self-presentation of the existing employees.”

It is enough to have the baseline qualifications and skills. The best person for the job is the best fit for the company. It is the congruence of the candidate’s personality and the corporate culture.

Evaluators are “predominately white, Ivy League-educated, upper-middle or upper class men and women”, said Sociologist Dr Lauren Rivera. Determining the usual pursuits of the interviewer’s background will help the candidates figure out their interests. Mirroring similarities will highlight a cultural fit.

Now that we know what kind of people they’d hire, they should include the following characteristics in the job description: likes hiking, fermented refreshments and Jimmy Fallon. They want to feel good when you’re around.

Do you bond with your employer?

First World Work Problems

I read a post today by Lament’s and Lullalbies that I thought was brilliantly human, which is odd, because I know internet people aren’t people at all, they are aliens. Cool aliens, but aliens nonetheless. Don’t worry, I am not phoning the MIB… yet.

Her post addresses the human condition of struggling between making ends meet and making your dreams come true. She writes in a way that is synonymous with the mosh pit of a thought process that I assume begins in most people’s minds when thinking about these issues. Everyone has an ideal career, or two, or three, or is at least on the search to finding one. Everyone also faces the ongoing obligation to provide for themselves at the same time. It is all a huge balancing act and we don’t have the proper equilibrium. In my case, I am just drunk.

We have to work. Most of us have to work jobs we are less than enthused about because: money. All too often people become barricaded in these jobs for years and years of monotony and turmoil. Why? Scum bag employer syndrome.

This scenario includes two pawns: the dreamer (also known as you) and the force you think you can duel but ultimately are powerless against… the scum bag employer. Here is how it goes:

You: I need to quit my job and pursue my dream of becoming a renowned [insert your dream here] if I ever want it to really happen. That’s right, no more wasting time. I make good money, but it’s not enough worth enduring the bored/grumpy/blase feeling at the end of every work day. I’d rather take a pay cut in exchange for fulfillment. I am going to do this.

Scum Bag Employer: Oh yea? Really now? You are finally going to make the plunge? How about I go ahead and give you a hefty raise at the precise moment that you get the balls to leave me. Oh yea, and that 401K to which you just began to contribute? You won’t get to keep even half of it if you bail on me in less than a year. You are getting your own office too. With a real live plant. Looks like you will be bringing the fruit cake to this year’s Christmas bash after all. See you Monday!

You: Well fuck.

Share a conversation with your Scum Bag Employer!

Behold: Hands of Men and Women

Researcher Mark S. Chapell and his pals took the burden to observe 15,008 couples with holding hand activities. It’s true, men has the uppermost hand. And it may be that men initiate the act of touch.

Touch has a power. In the study of Coan, Schaefer and Davidson, a woman was given mild electric shocks to observe her experience of pain and fear through MRI. At first, pain and fear was prominent. When a laboratory team member held her hand, the pain is still evident but fear diminishes. When the woman’s partner held her hand, the MRI shows that her brain calmed down remarkably.

Holding a woman’s hand is simple, seemingly vain, but it’s an easy way to make her at ease amidst pain and stress. Plus, it’s a romantic gesture too.

A man to man holding hand would raise brows in many societies; but in Afghanistan, it is expected. It shows affection for the men without the sexual association. And in times that you didn’t do that, it shows aversion as if you’re spacing yourself away from the other man.

Holding hands is dirtier than you thought. Tennessee senators passed a new bill claiming that holding hands and kissing are gateways to intercourse. The bill, which blocks sex education, aims to reduce the tipping numbers of the young engaging the activity – 27% of middle school students in Memphis City have had sex.

Between the two genders, researchers from the University of Colorado found that women’s hands are dirtier! Women “have a much ‘greater diversity’ of bacteria on their hands than men, and a higher number of innate bacteria living under the skin that can’t be washed away”.

Do you agree with these findings?

Judge Your Parents

When it’s our turn to be kids, we loved our parents so much. You show your dad that you can throw a baseball or show your mom the beautiful flower you just picked. You’re always by their side; you hug them and cry if you can’t see them.

Then, we enter the teenage years. We may despise them because they’re intruding. They’d want to teach us life lessons but we wanted to live our own life differently and not be told what to do.

They say we’ll go back to loving them more once we grew out of the teenage years. When we started having our own families, they say we’ll be exactly like our parents. I hope not.

Criticize your parents. Don’t hate them so much that you don’t recognize their good side; and don’t love them too much that you don’t recognize their bad side. Try not to repeat the mistakes and the displeasing side of your parents.

They gave birth to you and that commands respect; but they don’t always do the right thing. Not because they’re your parents you just accept all they say and do as if they created everything right. I’m not denouncing the roles of parents, but I’ve seen parents who will assert that they’re always right in their families.

Parents can say and do right or wrong. You don’t have to brag it to them, love and respect, and just filter what’s coming in to you.

Siblings Fight

Parents will try to hinder their kids from killing each other, but it will happen. The clash is because children are selfish, and sometimes their desires are conflict with the other. When they grow up, they will still fight, but now because they have this thing called “pride” and “principle” that they strive to abide by.

Fighting is not something they learned. I don’t think that TV or games made them violent, but instinct dictates them to fray. But that is not to say that we let them be. We still try to tone our children and make them be a mannerly person.

I like to fight with my brother, and I welcome other siblings to fight too because when they reconciled, they will be closer to each other. On a separate occasion, I sprayed antiseptic alcohol to my brother’s eyes. He’s still in 20/20 vision now; I’m not really a douche but I’m sure there’s an ample reason behind my fury then. I can’t remember it, maybe curiosity? I wonder what it does on a person’s eyes.. ohh that!

I have a sister too, and we fight like Zeus and Hades. She loves to grow her nails just so she can scratch the tendons beneath my skin. My strongest weapon is I’ll call her fat. I miss those good times; and see, later on in life you’ll just laugh about it.

What is the fiercest fight you’ve had with your sibling/s?

This is crazy! (Love)

I’ll just say it – I’m a suspect of skepticism for long distance relationships. I believe in the special role physical intimacy, and it’s going to be hard to love someone you can’t be with all the time.

I’m not into romance and such. But this year, as manly as I like to think of myself, I learned the best love story yet.

Liza’s living in Australia and Rex’s deployed in Iraq. There is discrepancy in religion – she’s an atheist, he’s a Mormon. When Rex decided to embrace atheism, his family also decided to disapprove Liza to the point of forcing him to choose between her or his family.

You’d think that a man would want his 240 lbs. girlfriend to trim down a bit, especially from a fit soldier. A gentleman would not say it hastily, but rather hint it or imply it to the girl. But Rex accepted Liza wholeheartedly and it is her utter decision to change lifestyle.

I still don’t know how this works out. It’s hard to trust especially when they met each other online. And there will be people like me criticizing and disbelieving their long distance love. These could be friends and family alike that’ll try to break the relationship, foreseen it as a dead one.

She flew to US to meet Rex for the first time, and it’s the scariest she has been in her life. There’s a lot of what ifs..

At certain instances they only see each other via Skype, Rex would have his moment of weeping, clearly missing the love of his life. “This man could really cry!”, Liza thought. I guess he’s crazy for her, and she’s crazy for him. She flew (again!) to Rex in 2010 to surprise him, and you’ll see an incredulous yet very happy man.

They’re getting married too! Happy engagement and have a great marriage Liza and Rex. Read the rest of their romance in Liza’s Long Distance Love.

What’s the craziest you did for a relationship?

Bullying Helps

It is not preferred for any child to be bullied at all. Yes, in a perfect world; but ours was imperfect. Regardless of one’s developmental stage, class or any demographics you can think of, bullies are sure visitors.

It’s true, a fact of unfair life. I’ve seen (and known) many adults who would break into a fistfight just because someone accidentally stepped on him, or would rant publicly in a waiter’s degraded face because of a trivial mistake of dropping an onion on her lap. These people don’t know how to handle unexpected and disadvantaged events, and it may perhaps because the likes of similar events are never experienced before.

A bullied child will learn how to fight later on. I’m promoting fighting; not to harass but to defend, not to be violent but to be vigilant, and not to be purely emotional but to be justly rational. It is easy to punch back or pull the hair of your bullies, but you’ve learned a valuable lesson when you restrained yourself and fought back with integrity.

Experiencing pain early in life only increases your threshold of it. Indefinitely, next time an oppressing force strained you, you knew you got over it; that it’s nothing beyond manageable. I see bullying as a practical teacher from life for the rest of life.

On finale note, there are two sides. It is better to be bullied than to be the bully.

What’s your view in bullying? Has it changed you?

Category Archives: Relationships