Justin G. Bautista
Writer
December 19, 2011
Unnecessary Technological Upgrades
I look at these new upgrades and ask, "what for?"
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There are many to discover and improve in our human lives that drive technological upgrades. Just for instance, the emerging tablets are shoving off the laptops for portability and accessibility.

 

One may argue that upgrades are directing towards a progress. After all, it says UPgrades. But the following technological upgrades aren’t really necessary; rather, they cater to the human drives of laziness and lavish spending.

 

Japanese Talking Toilet

 

Japanese Talking Toilet, talk while you poop, futuristic high tech toilet, New robot from japan is inside the washroom

The Japanese is the leading proprietor of robot invention. And an addition to their inglorious robotic scene is a toilet that you can talk to, ask for a joke or even the weather while you poop. Apparently, the Japanese people needed to spice up their shitting activity. But for the rest of us, this is our childhood nightmare.

 

Wallet Fingerprint Security

 

A Pricey Wallet, most expensive wallet in the world, wallet security, wallet that opens with touch, fingerprint technology, most secured wallet

By all means, if you are willing to dispose a $850 for a wallet, then buy Dunhill’s wallet for men that boasts fingerprint security. But for the thrifty ones, you really don’t need to waste money on a wallet. Wallets are put in the back pocket of a man’s pants, where it usually get seated. It gets crushed and squashed.

 

Although it is cool that only you can access to your cash, thieves will just steal the wallet itself and grant themselves a fortune.

 

Mind Reading Bikes

 

A Mind-Reading Bike, futuristic bike, white bike, cycle for exercise, bike and men, new bike technology from Toyota Prius project reads minds

Think left and the bike steers left. Think right and the bike also obeys. Welcome to the first ever boring bicycle, where all you have to do is pedal. Come on, steering is where the exhibition and all the fun is in a bicycle. We get the breakthrough in mind-reading technology, but not this way – you take the essence of riding a bike.

 

Bejeweled Consoles

 

Golden Wii, ridiculous expensive nintendo wii, gold plated game consoles, most beautiful Wii for the rich

There’s nothing the gold encrusted Wii can do that my normal Wii cannot do. Oh wait, the golden Wii makes the owner foolishly arrogant but wealthy.

 

Chastity Bras

 

The Chastity Bra, secretive bra, bra with padlock, Japanese bras has lock, pink bra

I know some guys are having tough times dislodging a lady’s bra, but with chastity bra, there’s no way he can un-bra her. Chastity bras come with a padlock. You don’t need this because (a) guys can be smart when in need, we’ll just use scissors to cut your bra, (b) sex happens south, and (c) chastity means controlling your urges not locking your hooters.

 

LED Ruler

 

Flashlight Ruler, LED light ruler, glow in the dark ruler, most useful ruler, fine measurement with best ruler, accurate ruler

I don’t know why they have to invent an LED-enabled ruler. If there is no light and you need to measure the length of something, just open the freaking fluorescent light! There is a reason why Thomas Edison persistently tried thousands of filaments in coming up a light bulb – to be used!

 

Waterproof Earphones

 

Water and Earphone, Together, waterproof earphones headset headphone, swimming with music, ipod under water

You can’t leave your favorite song for a swim? Anything can be best and worst for something, and music is worst underwater.

 

What other technologies are not necessary?

 

  • http://promethios.wordpress.com Leo

    The next thing in phones is probably and implant in the hand. you will have an Earphone in the thumb, Microphone in the middle finger and Keypad in the palm. Then it will not be just sign language for phone me. :-)

  • http://roseshadows.wordpress.com roseshadows

    The mind-reading bike? I would never get to where I wanted to go!
    Talking toilet? The bathroom is where you can go if you don’t want to talk to anyone!

  • http://theoriginalburpblog.wordpress.com TheOriginalBURP

    The underwater headphones are ridiculous. Listening to music began as a social thing: people got together and sung, danced, and made sounds. Then the headphones took over, and now it’s a solitary activity. And now, by combining things like swimming and surfing with them, they’re turning other social activities into solitary ones. Totally scandalous

  • http://thevinnyverse.wordpress.com Vincent Clarke

    I totally agree with everything. Especially the mind-reading bike and underwater earphones. I had those before because then, I thought it was a good idea. But then I just can’t focus with the Ramones all up in my eardrums.

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